Saturday, March 29, 2008

In Loving Memory

This past Wednesday, March 26, 2008, my beloved high school math teacher and long-time friend, J.J. Marks, went home to be with the Lord, along with her unborn little girl.  J.J. died from complications with her pregnancy, which was 8 months along.  She got a severe infection from strep, which spread through her whole body.  Additionally, the placenta separated from the uterine wall, killing the baby.  She wasn't feeling well Monday or Tuesday, and Tuesday night she started throwing up and hemorrhaging.  She went to the doctor Wednesday morning and he couldn't detect a fetal heartbeat, so they took her in for an emergency C-section.  When they opened her up for the surgery, her blood pressure plummeted, and they found a massive infection that had spread throughout her whole body.  They couldn't do anything for her.  Her husband was in Mexico at the time on a mission trip, and they flew him back over the border.  From what I heard, he didn't know about J.J. when he landed.

It's been tough for all of us that knew her and loved her.  She was the only person I ever knew that could actually make calculus fun.  I've known her practically my whole life.  When I was little, she had my dad for a teacher in high school, and she babysat me a few times.  At that time, I was absolutely obsessed with "Beauty and the Beast," and she gave me a huge "Beauty and the Beast" poster that hung in my room until I got into high school.  At school, I always called her Mrs. Marks, but to me, inside, she was just J.J.  My sixth grade track and basketball coach, the woman that would take me home every so often, the teacher that I got to beat at trivia my senior year of high school.  I loved her so much... even though I didn't always show it very well.  And I know she loved me too... which is what makes this so hard.

She impacted a lot of people in her short time on earth (she was only 32 when she died).  A bunch of my friends and I got together and swapped stories about her.  I wish I could remember more.  She was fun, sarcastic, crazy, cool, smart... and most of all she loved the Lord.

This time has been especially hard for her family, her mom and dad and sister, and especially her husband and young son Jonathan (who is only 3).  Jonathan doesn't understand what's happening, and he's not going to have many memories of his mother.

The funeral was today.  They had it at First Baptist Dallas, where she went to church.  The crazy thing is, that place was completely packed out with students, friends, family... and it's a big sanctuary.  At the viewing last night, it took 4 hours to get everyone through the line.  That's how much she impacted those of us that knew her.

It's still hard to believe she's gone.  At the viewing last night, I kept expecting her to pop up and say "Surprise!  Just kidding!"  But she didn't.  And it's taking some time to process everything.  I feel like I've been in a fog or flying on autopilot for the past three days, ever since I found out Wednesday night.  She was so young, so full of life, so in love with her husband and son and Savior, and so dedicated to her students.  She would tutor some of the people that graduated with me in their calculus and math classes, and she offered to tutor me in statistics last semester.  I cared about her so much.  Yesterday at the viewing, her husband saw me walk in and grabbed me in a big bear hug, and told me that she thought the world of me.  Today at the graveside service, Jeanie (her sister) handed me a rose from the coffin and told me that she would have wanted me to have it.  Her mom grabbed me in a big hug and told me that J.J. loved me so much.  All these things keep rolling around in my head... and it's so hard to process it.

I know that she's with Jesus.  She gets to see every day what I only long to see, and what I can only dream about.  She gets to worship her Savior all day long, for all eternity.  I know she wouldn't want us to be sad, because she's not sad.  She's free from pain and suffering and whiny students that complain about calculus.  And she finally knows how much she was loved.  Heaven got a little sweeter on Wednesday when she and that gorgeous little Tanya showed up at the door.  I know that I can rest my hope in the fact that I will see her again someday, and she'll be there to greet me when I go up there.  It only makes me long for heaven that much more.

Please, be in prayer for her husband and son.  He's really strong now, but he will probably have his breakdown pretty soon.  Her parents and sister need your prayers too.  Be especially in prayer for her students and the teachers and administration at OCS as they try to deal with this loss.  I heard some of the students won't even go into her classroom.  It caught everyone off guard... and everyone is trying to grieve now.

I found this verse on Thursday when I was still trying to process everything, and I want to leave you with it.  "When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.  The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."- Psalm 34:17-18.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Eretz Israel

I spent Spring Break in the "Holy Land", the land of the Bible, of Jesus and His disciples, of a unique history and tradition. It was absolutely amazing. It's hard to describe the trip to someone that didn't go, because God taught us all something unique while we were there. I guess, I can just suffice to say that it was amazing. Awesome. Inspiring. Incredible. Once-in-a-lifetime.

Friday afternoon we boarded a flight to Atlanta to catch our connecting flight to Tel-Aviv. Our flight from Dallas was delayed for about an hour and a half, so when we finally landed in Atlanta we had about 30 minutes to get to our flight. Which was, of course, on the other end of the airport. Four terminals away. And, of course, when we landed our arrival gate was taken, so we had to wait for about 15 minutes on the tarmac for another gate to open. When the door finally open, we dashed out of the plane and literally ran down the hall, our carry-on bags swinging behind us. Our gate was at the far end of the terminal, so we ran down the hall to the escalator and barely hopped the train to the next terminals. We finally reached Terminal E, where our connecting flight was, and we sprinted up the escalator, huffing and puffing along the way. The airline sent 2 carts for us, so we all hopped on one, but our combined body weight was too much for it. The cart scraped bottom several times before it just stopped at the end of our hall, and our gate was at the other end of the hall. We said, "It's okay, we'll just run from here," and jumped out of the cart and sprinted to the end of the hall. Fortunately, all of us made it in one piece, and we settled down for the 12-hour plane ride.

We landed in Tel Aviv at about 8 p.m., Israel time, almost 1 p.m. Dallas time. We deboarded the plane and made our way through security (Israeli security is insane) to passport control. When I got up there, they asked me a bunch of questions and then made me wait next to the booth. The lady took my passport and boarding pass and handed it to another security guard, who made me wait in a room next to a huge computer room. By this time, I was confused, scared, tired, in a lousy mood, and all I wanted to do was go to bed. I sat down and watched the soccer game on the television in the corner, and two other ladies came in and sat opposite me. They started talking, and I finally figured out that it was because we had military connections. About 10 minutes later, they came back and handed me my passport and a gate pass. I said "Thank you," grabbed my bag and walked out the door. When I met everyone on the other side of the gate, they all cheered for me and handed me my checked luggage. Everyone asked me if I was okay, and I think they saw in my face that I was pretty freaked out. The whole time I had tried hard not to cry, and finally, the tears started coming down my face, which embarrassed me even more! But then everything was okay, and we headed out on our tour. And I will never, ever forget it.

It's hard to describe exactly where we went because we pretty much went everywhere. We visited Nazareth, Bet She'an, Megiddo, Caesarea Philippi, the Jordan River, pretty much every major site in Jerusalem, the Dead Sea, Masada, Qumran, Capernaum... and that's just off the top of my head. It was amazing to be able to walk in the places that Jesus walked, to see some of the things that He saw. It was so cool to kneel in the Garden of Gethsemane, listening to the sounds of traffic and realizing that Jesus suffered so much in that garden for my sin, and even if I was the only one in the world that needed it, He still would have done it because He loves me and because through His sacrifice, my life now is supposed to glorify God. It was surreal to walk into the Garden Tomb and see that He's not there, because He rose in victory over death. It was sobering to walk through the Holocaust Museum and see all the horrible, unspeakable things that Hitler did to the Jews. It was awesome to sit at the Church of the Beatitudes, and imagine what it would have been like to hear Jesus speaking the Sermon on the Mount.

One of my favorite parts of the trip was to be able to see how the Israelis live now. I think sometimes as Americans we view Israel as this ancient land, and people still live like they did in the time of Christ. But that's not true at all. Jerusalem and Tel-Aviv, in particular, are very modern cities. Their citizens take buses to their jobs, or they have cable and running hot water, or they have satellite, and they have cell phones. The only ones that don't necessarily have some of this stuff are the Orthodox Jews, and even then they are very modern.

I also liked being able to see them live out their culture and beliefs. When we were in Jerusalem, we saw several bar-mitzvahs at the Wailing Wall, and we even saw one party in our hotel. They were dancing and laughing, and really having a blast. And the party went on for hours. It was so cool... and we really wanted to join in, but I don't think they would have appreciated it too much. The craziest thing was being there on Shabbat, or Sabbath. When I woke up on Saturday, I looked out the window to observe what was going on down there, and I didn't see a thing. No cars, no people... just empty streets. It was so cool. They take the command to keep the Sabbath holy seriously. Most shops closed Friday afternoon around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Sometimes I wish we took our holy days that seriously.

Another thing that was really cool was seeing that, in reality, Israel and the places where Jesus walked are just ordinary places. Nazareth was really nothing special. The Sea of Galilee was just a regular lake (though it was absolutely beautiful). Jerusalem, with all its rich history, was just a city like Washington, D.C., or Rome. The thing that made them special was the fact that Jesus was there, and the fact that God did something extraordinary. My friend John and I were talking when we got back (it was him that really made me think about this), and he said that it really made him think about what that means in our lives. The Bible is full of examples of God taking ordinary, fallen men and turning them into something extraordinary to fulfill His purposes. If God can do that with a place like Israel, or people like Peter or John or Gideon, He can certainly do that with me.

It also hit me pretty hard how much they have had to struggle for their survival as a nation. When we traveled north to Caesarea Philippi, we passed through mine fields and bombed-out villages near the border with Lebanon, remains from the war a couple of years ago with Hezbollah. Then in Jerusalem, we passed the hill where the paratroopers landed in 1967 in the Six Day War and pushed the Jordanians out of Jerusalem and eventually most of Israel. We passed three layers of barbed wire fences on the border with the West Bank area, and our guide said that they have regular armed patrols there. On the Temple Mount itself, guards stood in full riot gear with M-16s and Uzis. Then in the Holocaust Museum, we saw how Hitler cut deep into the flesh of the Jewish people when he murdered 6 million people, including 1.5 million children. It's a huge blow to realize how much Satan has been after the Jews in the past 2,000 years since Christ ascended into heaven. Since coming into existence in 1948, they have been in constant war. That's nearly 60 years of war. And yet, God continues to perform miracles in their nation, especially in the Six Day War.

The thing that God did the most with me, however, was show me the passion He feels for Israel. While I was there, it really hit me hard that I am "grafted into" the kingdom. Israel is God's chosen people. He revealed Himself through them, Jesus revealed Himself through them, and He is their Messiah. Jesus Himself said that He came to the Jews, so that they don't have to live under the law anymore. It's only through His grace that He allows the Gentiles to come into His kingdom, to be grafted in. I think a lot of times the church in particular forgets about this aspect. While I was there, I read Romans 9-11, where Paul talks about his passion for the Jews to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus. And for the first time in my life, I really felt that passion, that desire to see them finally recognize their Messiah, the one that came for them. For the first time, I realized that I have been taken from where I naturally belong and grafted into the Root of Jesse, a place that belonged to the Jews in the first place. I think many times I've been arrogant to them, thinking "They rejected Christ, so they're nothing really special." But it's not true at all. They are a very special people, chosen by God to do a great work in the world. It is undeniable that God still has His hand on them today. And, for once, I was really glad to be put in my place.

I've been back in the States now for a couple of weeks, and I must say I miss Israel like crazy. I miss being able to wake up and see the Orthodox Jews hurrying to work or school. I miss looking out over the Dead Sea from the heights of Masada. I miss looking out over the city of Tel-Aviv and seeing the Mediterranean crash on the soft sand. I miss being on the Sea of Galilee and imagining what it would have been like to see Jesus walking toward me on water. But I've enjoyed having a new perspective on the Middle East, and finding articles and books on the Six Day War and how to talk to Jews about Christ. The images I saw and the lessons I learned will stay with me forever.