In Loving Memory

This past Wednesday, March 26, 2008, my beloved high school math teacher and long-time friend, J.J. Marks, went home to be with the Lord, along with her unborn little girl.  J.J. died from complications with her pregnancy, which was 8 months along.  She got a severe infection from strep, which spread through her whole body.  Additionally, the placenta separated from the uterine wall, killing the baby.  She wasn't feeling well Monday or Tuesday, and Tuesday night she started throwing up and hemorrhaging.  She went to the doctor Wednesday morning and he couldn't detect a fetal heartbeat, so they took her in for an emergency C-section.  When they opened her up for the surgery, her blood pressure plummeted, and they found a massive infection that had spread throughout her whole body.  They couldn't do anything for her.  Her husband was in Mexico at the time on a mission trip, and they flew him back over the border.  From what I heard, he didn't know about J.J. when he landed.

It's been tough for all of us that knew her and loved her.  She was the only person I ever knew that could actually make calculus fun.  I've known her practically my whole life.  When I was little, she had my dad for a teacher in high school, and she babysat me a few times.  At that time, I was absolutely obsessed with "Beauty and the Beast," and she gave me a huge "Beauty and the Beast" poster that hung in my room until I got into high school.  At school, I always called her Mrs. Marks, but to me, inside, she was just J.J.  My sixth grade track and basketball coach, the woman that would take me home every so often, the teacher that I got to beat at trivia my senior year of high school.  I loved her so much... even though I didn't always show it very well.  And I know she loved me too... which is what makes this so hard.

She impacted a lot of people in her short time on earth (she was only 32 when she died).  A bunch of my friends and I got together and swapped stories about her.  I wish I could remember more.  She was fun, sarcastic, crazy, cool, smart... and most of all she loved the Lord.

This time has been especially hard for her family, her mom and dad and sister, and especially her husband and young son Jonathan (who is only 3).  Jonathan doesn't understand what's happening, and he's not going to have many memories of his mother.

The funeral was today.  They had it at First Baptist Dallas, where she went to church.  The crazy thing is, that place was completely packed out with students, friends, family... and it's a big sanctuary.  At the viewing last night, it took 4 hours to get everyone through the line.  That's how much she impacted those of us that knew her.

It's still hard to believe she's gone.  At the viewing last night, I kept expecting her to pop up and say "Surprise!  Just kidding!"  But she didn't.  And it's taking some time to process everything.  I feel like I've been in a fog or flying on autopilot for the past three days, ever since I found out Wednesday night.  She was so young, so full of life, so in love with her husband and son and Savior, and so dedicated to her students.  She would tutor some of the people that graduated with me in their calculus and math classes, and she offered to tutor me in statistics last semester.  I cared about her so much.  Yesterday at the viewing, her husband saw me walk in and grabbed me in a big bear hug, and told me that she thought the world of me.  Today at the graveside service, Jeanie (her sister) handed me a rose from the coffin and told me that she would have wanted me to have it.  Her mom grabbed me in a big hug and told me that J.J. loved me so much.  All these things keep rolling around in my head... and it's so hard to process it.

I know that she's with Jesus.  She gets to see every day what I only long to see, and what I can only dream about.  She gets to worship her Savior all day long, for all eternity.  I know she wouldn't want us to be sad, because she's not sad.  She's free from pain and suffering and whiny students that complain about calculus.  And she finally knows how much she was loved.  Heaven got a little sweeter on Wednesday when she and that gorgeous little Tanya showed up at the door.  I know that I can rest my hope in the fact that I will see her again someday, and she'll be there to greet me when I go up there.  It only makes me long for heaven that much more.

Please, be in prayer for her husband and son.  He's really strong now, but he will probably have his breakdown pretty soon.  Her parents and sister need your prayers too.  Be especially in prayer for her students and the teachers and administration at OCS as they try to deal with this loss.  I heard some of the students won't even go into her classroom.  It caught everyone off guard... and everyone is trying to grieve now.

I found this verse on Thursday when I was still trying to process everything, and I want to leave you with it.  "When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.  The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."- Psalm 34:17-18.